In the spring of 2013, I was taking a much needed hike with a good friend and colleague of mine, and I was going on about how I felt like nothing was going right for me. Even though I had just completed the 28 Day Marketing Challenge program with rave reviews and launched the Women Entrepreneurs Circle, not to mention my daughter was crazy fun, I was still somehow feeling as though I was falling down this rabbit hole with no end in sight. I told her how this crazy feeling of uncertainty and instability brought on anxiety, and even managed to crush my self confidence. Though I was doing so many great things and living a seemingly awesome life, I felt things were spiraling out of control and I was headed towards a slow doom.
This led me to do what I have always done when I get this way,(and no this was not the first time I experienced this), I researched. I sought out a dozen or so books, signed up for innumerable self-help webinars, newsletters, audio programs, teleconferences, and read an infinite number of blog posts, and articles, all in the name of "fixing" whatever it was I was going through. I remember one of the prayers that passed my lips one of those nights..."God, please fix me!" Why the hell couldn't I find any solace, or better yet, an answer to my problems in any of the sources I turned too?
I love meditating, yet I couldn't get myself to meditate. I love yoga, but doing anything that would bring me joy just didn't feel right. I didn't want to feel joy in the middle of having my tantrum. A stubborn stupor came over me and a huge part of me demanded to feel important. I wanted to feel like I meant something. Then I realized it. My ego had taken over.
If there's one thing I know about the ego is that when your ego runs things, you can't feel happy. You always feel like you aren't doing enough, like YOU aren't enough. Your ego is handy but not when it's solely running the show. That's why I turned to so many outside sources to get more knowledge, learn more, read more, because I didn't feel like I was enough and that shot my confidence way down. Me. Not enough? THAT couldn't be farther from the truth and the truth is that everything I need to succeed in life and work already exists within me.
I AM enough.
I am enough and more than enough.
I am small but I am big and I am beyond anything I can ever imagine.
I am whole, expansive, infinity can't even hold me.
What I am is measured in smiles, hugs, laughter, and in the stars,
in stillness and in silence and yet I am immeasurable.
and what I am is what I am and I LOVE who I am.
and I need no one and no thing else.
I am enough and more than enough.
I wrote this soon after I figured stuff out. If it speaks to you, I encourage you to read the above poem as a mantra to yourself. Say it to yourself enough times and believe me, the ego will quietly step away and your confidence will re-emerge. You will open up and expand to hear what the wisdom around you is telling you. It will come crashing into you. It will knock you in your face and knock you down and then it will pick you up and dust you off. It's quite extraordinary.
Am I saying forever abandon your books, your sages, your therapists, your webinars, and whatever else you reach for to enrich your life? NO. It's fabulous to have those things in your life to invigorate you, to give you motivation, to ignite new ideas, help you spearhead projects, and to work through your emotions. It's when you are doing all of these things and you STILL do not feel happy, that you should step back and examine to see what is really going on. It's most likely that the ego has crept its way into the driver's seat.
Knowing you are enough gives you unwavering confidence. It gives you the permission to go ahead and do that thing you've been putting off. It allows you to step forward, to say what you need to say, to promote and stand for what you believe in. Knowing you are enough offers the entrepreneur the opportunity to play big, for the nonprofit to stand tall and ask for the big donation, and for the individual to truly love life and themselves.
The next time you recognize the ego has taken over, go within. It is exactly the time to find the strength and will power to meditate regularly, to do yoga, to journal about the things you are and should be grateful for, to repeat mantras that support the inner you and to be mindful. This absolutely applies to work as, even more so this day and age. And, knowing me, I like to have to have support to do this and you might to. So, check out my recommendations for support to develop deep, abiding confidence in 2014.
Businesses should check out Ruby Renshaw's article on Two Sets of Eyes and all the other great info at her site strategystream.com where Ruby combines the inner and outer to help you reach success in your business. While you're at it, sign up for her upcoming business meditation workshop.
Executives and Leaders connect with Heather Robertson. Her powerful coaching service is a blend of business savvy combined with yoga and meditation that promises to help stretch, motivate, and integrate your personal and professional self and create massive results and success. Learn more at heather-robertson.com
Nonprofits should read the innovative white paper by Jessica Haynie called Mindful Fundraising and sign up for the Mindful Fundraising Full-day workshop coming up. She has just a few spots left!
Finally, individuals looking for health + personal development should check out Kaya Hirsch's yoga classes at thedragonrising.com. Kaya integrates her knowledge of ayurveda, yoga, astrology and the 5 elements, to bring you an integrative and whole movement experience that will awaken and nourish you to the core.
Do ALL the things that speak to you and call your confidence back. Remember that everything you need to succeed is inside you. My wish for you is that you step into 2014 knowing you ARE enough and brimming with deep confidence!